Whimsical - argh, she's daydreaming again.

I think I must start most of my blogs with the word "okay". Today, I did not. But this is merely because I caught myself!

I've been thinking something very thoughtful today.

What are the exact reasons God allows certain people to be apart of your life for what seems longer then the average "seasonal" moment?

Why are there certain people who are still in our lives when it just seems like they're fading out... but they just don't?

AND another thought:

Why do we care that they are?


I've thought about this before, but its slightly frustrating being as every time I do, its almost too much for me to comprehend.

Suffice to say that the Lord gives and takes things away. Why He keeps things around longer then we think He will, I cannot explain. Thats partly why I can't explain it, actually. I've tried to make sense, but really, the only way to make sense of things like this is to figure out the good reasons God may allow people to stick around... that, or allow YOU to stick around in someone's life.

I have to be honest. I'm feeling a bit caged in right now. I think I may go insane. I'm strangely colliding with an interesting idea that keeps being brought to my attention:

Just packing up and going.
Live on the faith of God.

Hmmmm.

Now thats a thought.

Problem? I'm a girl. I have no money, and who the heck would go with me?


Unless...... Unless I started saving money for the soul purpose of going somewhere.

now once again, THATS a thought.


So I started talking to this guy in Europe who did exactly that. He's living in London right now. The best part? He's getting his hands dirty in the ministries that are around. Sad part? He's only met 1 Christian so far as he's been out there. WHAT?! Is the opportunity that great? Is it screaming for crazy people like me to take it up and go?

It sounds so dumb! So So stupid to just leave. And I really just can't. HOWEVER.
What if I planned for it?
What if I got myself a companion or two. Someone to go with me? I can't just go alone!


Thats whats running through my head right now.

I could easily get connections to stay in places near Israel.
I could easily look up ministries and hostels that I could stay in.

I could SO easily share Jesus with anyone and everyone because HECK! Thats not even the CRAZY part of me being out there!

I just need to pray a lot.
I'm flying as high as I can here in ohio.

Its like me saying I'm flying as I as I can, for being in a cage.

Please don't get me wrong. My heart is not to complain! I just... need to do something so radical that I scare myself. I'm stuck in a very very sticky comfort zone. its so comfortable that I'm starting to feel UNcomfortable.

Is it possible? Could I maybe go at 20? maybe I spend the next year of my life finishing up this program and then head to Europe?

Wow.

I think I'm serious!

I know that it seems whimsical and on the whim, but I need to do something for the Lord. Something that may not be approved of.

I need to trust in the Lord in a whole new way.

I have this strange strange ... feeling about all of this though.
Could I do it?
Could I pull it off?

Could I do something that is so crazy that it truly scares me?

Could I prepare myself to do what Apostle Paul did?

Oh my dear Lord, I'm going to be praying about this...
AND


I'll be saving every penny from here on out, yo.

praying and saving. praying and saving.

Sarah needs a little time to pray.

she's starting to feel the same way that she felt when she has her head dead set on doing something.

I won't let myself get that far just yet, but lets just say that in this upcoming 5 months, I'm going to pray very hard and very considerably about the possibility of going on a trip of a lifetime.

This I will promise. I need a change.

I'm willing to take the risk that I might.


those of you who feel burdened, if any of you do at all - pray for me, will you? I'm really giving this stuff some thought.