Waiting and Praying for Your Future Spouse - The "List"

1.       Has to love Jesus (this is a MUST!!!)

2.       HAS to be taller than me.  I mean HAS to be.

3.       Has to have big, strong muscles.  …Calf muscles.

4.       Brown eyes.  Only.  Okay… compromise.  One brown, one blue-gray.

5.       Has to play the guitar, the banjo and the drums and have a dreamy voice.

6.       So I guess he’ll have to be a worship leader.

7.       He should give me a run for my money

8.       …by having lots of his own.

9.       2 words.  Sexy. Eyes.

10.   He should be cool with moving to Africa if God called us to go, probably.

11.   It’d be nice if he had a beard.

12.   …and got my sense of humor.

13.   And wanted kids

14.   …but not 10.  I come from 10.  No.  More like a small family… with 5 kids. Wait…no 2.

15.   He can’t be allergic to cats. I love cats.

16.   He should probably like to cook.  I only bake.

17.   And last but should have been second to first… or second… He should be a gentleman!

18.   …who wants to take me all over the world.

19.   …to do archeological digs and stuff.

20.   …oh. And take my dad fishing in Alaska.

….Amen.   (Wait, do I say amen after these things?)*

Lists!
You might be a list person.  You might not be.
I am – totally – a list person.  I like to keep track of stuff I need to do and stuff I want to remember.
If you’re anything like me, you may need to keep track of great ideas too.
I keep a list of blog post ideas and even friends I want to invite to things because to be  honest, I’m not so good at coming up with things off the top of my head.

Some might wonder if you can take list-making too far.
Take making a list for things you’d like in a future spouse for instance.
Is it wrong?

Gentlemen: I'm Not Your Paper Doll

“You’re exactly the kind of girl I’ve been looking for!”

“You lead worship? I lead worship too.  I’ve always wanted to lead worship with my wife.”

“You know, I always hoped God would give me a blonde-haired, blue eyed girl.”

“You had a crush on Aladdin?  No way!! I had a crush on Jasmine.”

“I always knew I would need a girl who could meet me on an intellectual level. You do that for me!”

“I’m all in, whatever it takes.”

“You’re the only one who gets me.”

“I’ve always wanted a girl who could enter into my world.”

“We were meant to be.”

“Can I say I love you? … Please?”

You know, I never wanted to be that girl who’s dated a lot.  Maybe in comparison, I haven’t dated too much.  But I think I may have given my heart away too quickly in the past.  Can you relate? 

Don’t worry, I promise I’m not like that today and maybe neither are you anymore either. Experience does that for folks.  In fact, maybe you would even agree that  it’s almost impossible to give it away now.

Then again, maybe it's a good thing.  I know it is for me.  It means it’s not in my hands to give.  Some of you might disagree.  But that’s my choice, not yours.

I’ve been thinking about this for a while now and maybe there are a few people out there who can connect with this.  For the men (or women) who read this, maybe you’re one of those guys (or girls) who have said similar things to the comments I I've just quoted.

Maybe you’re not.

But if you are, maybe you need to be reading this.

Excuses, Excuses - Dating, Breakups & Freedom

Behold, You delight in truth in the inward being, and You teach me wisdom in the secret heart.

 – Psalm 51:6

 This conversation takes place a few years ago. The setting?  The briefing room.

 Sitting in this quiet side room after a 2 hour prayer set, my friend and I began to discuss an issue that had been plaguing my thought life. Leaning back, my face slowly began to contort in frustrated thought as my friend creatively doodled on the dry-erase board.

“Sarah… what’s wrong with him liking you?”

“Nothing’s wrong with him liking me.”

“So why don’t you give him a chance?”

“Um.  No.”

“Why not?”

“He’s younger than me by a year.  He’s still in school.   He doesn’t have a car...  

He’s just… not right for me.”

“But you said it yourself.  He’s saying all the right things.  He’s doing all the right things.  He’s the kind of guy you’ve been hoping for.”

“Yeah.  But he’s younger than me.  I’m more mature than him.”

“Wooow.  You’re being pretty critical right now… and those aren’t necessarily good reasons.  All that stuff is something he can grow in.”

“I just… don’t LIKE HIM LIKE THAT, OKAY?”

“Aaaaahhh!!! NOW we’re getting somewhere!”

My Thoughts on "the One" Theory.

I'm not going to lie, this whole conversation really made me think about what I really believed and God took the opportunity to correct my heart a little.

I've always believed that God has that "One special person" for everyone.
Sept... not everyone CARES to have a "One special someone" out there so much as just whomever they choose would  BE that person.

I mean, I absolutely DO!  Its been on my heart for a decade now to pray for my future husband - that one special person who's just going to get me and know me and understand me.

But God gave me a reality check - just because I've done that, doesn't mean everyone ELSE has.
AND?  Its okay.


God kinda gave me a picture - not a completely accurate one, but a picture none the less of the way this might work.

Esther.  The story about a courageous woman who somehow was chosen above hundreds of other beautiful women to be queen.

Here's the pitch:  hundreds of girls go through a YEAR of beautification and then get to choose what they're going to wear and what they're going to bring with them for their "one night with the king."
AWESOME!  Right?

Esther says to the guy in charge, "I don't want to choose.   You know the king better.  YOU give me what you think is best."


I'm not saying I'm Esther.

What I'm saying is - not everyone thinks to ask God for the best in their love life AND - not everyone is supposed to.

But Esther asked for the best.  And she got it.

Its okay if a small handful of people choose to ask God what HE thinks is best.  It may be that their's is a story that will impact hundreds of people like Esther's.

Will MY story impact hundreds of people?  You know?  If it brings people to a fuller knowledge of Christ, then YES,  I WANT it to.  But if it just impacts the people I directly communicate with on a day to day basis, then thats okay too.  The idea is to inspire others to seek out God's best for them.  It may not be in finding a mate, but it COULD mean that they need to ask God for the best in the job realm or in the career path, or in the financial arena, etc.

So do I believe in "The One" Theory?  Yes.  Do I believe its for everyone?  No.

Do I care if my future husband believes that he can just pick anyone and thats good enough for him?

...um.... yes.

I don't want to be a number.

"Oops, this girl didn't work so lets try this one.  OH!  NOT that one, never mind.  maybe this one...." until he comes around to little 'ol Sarah who finally  says yes to him.

I'm sorry but thats not okay with me.  I'd like to think that AT LEAST if the guy I'm supposed to marry isn't thinking about his future wife and praying for her, that he'd be too worried about what God's doing in his life to play the dating game without true intentions of finding the person who could match him in his walk with the Lord.

Those are my own feelings about it, honestly.  I'm not saying its completely right, but if I was trying to please everyone with my opinions, I would've stopped writing in this blog a long time ago.
:)

Those are my thoughts.

-Sarah